Sunday, April 5, 2009

Tata Nano: The Peoples Car That Wasn't Created By Hitler

It’s a global world. The hottest news in cars comes not from Detroit or Tokyo, but from India. Tata Motors of India has recently started taking orders for the car that is going to change the face of the world. The Tata Nano, which sounds like a baby’s first word. The car which was not named by a breast fetishist, is priced at 100000 Rupees. That translates to $2000 US Dollars and it is being called the Ford Model T for the 21st century. As Henry Ford started taking orders for the T in 1908 a hearty congratulations to India as it has finally entered the 20th Century. For Tata shareholders it's a warning of bankruptcy in 100 years.

So what does $2000 get you? Along with a boatload of rupess it will get you one ugly ass new car. Who cares about looks, shame or ridicule when it’s a new car that’s the same price as a 15 year old Civic with 300000 km. A comparable piece of crap, a brand new Hyundai Pony was available for $6400 in 1986.
Is that the interior of a 1986 Pontiac Sunbird? Of course not you idiot the steering wheel is on the wrong side.

For those with a taste for the better things in life, Tata offers the Luxury Nano LX for $3500. It includes air conditioning, power windows and locks. That’s a $2000 option on most cars. A radio is also an option but the sound of the engine and the parts hitting the road will drown out all but the loudest of stereos. So Mr. Rockefeller, i'll take 10 Nanos and you can take your fancy pants Honda Accord.

The plan is to export the car to Asia, Africa and Europe. So what about North American sales of this wonder car? Well the socialist governments here and their allies in Tokyo & Detroit want you to believe a car has to be “safe”, or “designed well” and even “survive a low speed collision with a supermarket buggy”. That’s the kind of mindset which has led GM & Chrysler to the brink of bankruptcy. Isn’t it a coincidence that the decline in American carmakers began with the safety crusade in the 1960’s?

Tata Motors has to be congratulated for what they will do for India’s worldwide reputation. A country known for 5 hour movie musicals, spicy food and IT Customer Support can now add the Tata Nano, or the “Death Can” to its list of exports.

Jai Ho!
Images from Tata Motors.

5 comments:

Diavoli said...

I would like to say that I've seen better "Tata's" in my day...

Anonymous said...

Those "Tata's" that your talking about parading on stage as you drink your beer in a dark corner don't count.

Diavoli said...

Yeah but they still look better than this piece of crap....

Anonymous said...

And I'm sure they handle better also!

Diavoli said...

I think I'm buying a "Tata for my dad, you basically don't need anythink else in the village...