Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Artificial Insemination Romantic Comedy Fad

This is the type of picture that gossip sites put up to mock Jennifer Aniston. The actress, who I will always think of as the real daughter of Victor Kiriakis, is a constant feature of celebrity blogs. After her divorce from Brad Pitt, Jennifer has walked the earth alone watching as the other woman has been crowned a whore Mother Teresa. The world does not cry for Jen because they never thought she belonged with Brad Pitt.

The shot, is obviously from a movie where she co stars with Jason Bateman. The movie is called “The Baster”. The plot summary from IMDB discloses the movie is about “An unmarried 40-year-old woman turns to a turkey baster in order to become pregnant.” Well that is a new premise. A ridiculous new premise but it goes on to reveal that “ Seven years later, she reunites with her best friend, who has been living with a secret: he replaced her preferred sperm sample with his own.”

Then it reveals that the movie is based on qa story by Jeffrey Eugenides. This is like learning that “He’s Just Not That Into You” is based on a story by Ernest Hemingway or “Made of Honor” was written by JD Salinger. Eugenides is best known as the writer of “The Virgin Suicides” and the Oprah approved “Middlesex”, the best book ever written about a Greek hermaphrodite living in denial in Detroit. Apparently in between writing tales of alienated suburban youths in the 70’s, Eugenides writes inane romantic comedies. Well can you fault a Greek for getting paid.

Jason Bateman should know better. He disappeared in the 90’s after a series of really bad moves. After you play “Teen Wolf Too” you should always take some time before selecting projects. He returned to prominence in the brilliant “Arrested Development” and by playing a creepy cool guy in “Juno”. So now he’s gonna be playing a guy who jerks off into a rubber tube to fool Rachel Green. That isn’t cool Bateman.

Apparently one artificial insemination movie is not enough for Summer 2010. So get ready for “The Back Up Plan” starring Jennifer Lopez. In this romantic comedy a woman played by Jello, conceives twins through artificial insemination, only to meet the man of her dreams on the very same day. She should really star in a romantic horror movie about Puerto Rican women with a fat ass and modest talents who sleeps her way to the top only to marry the cryptkeeper. Now that’s a movie I wouln’t mind downloading from the internet and burning on to a DVD!

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