Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Major League Soccer Is Finally Big Time: Now With Hooligans

Major League Soccer was created in 1996 to capitalize on the success of the 1994 World Cup in the USA. The hope was that branding it as major league would fool North Americans into believing sub par players playing piss poor soccer was world class. MLS has grown in spurts over it's history, but it finally came of age on March 25, 2009. It wasn't David Beckham who made this happen, but a bunch of drunken louts from Toronto visiting Columbus. Good on you boys!

Toronto has taken to MLS with surprising speed. Now in their third year Toronto FC has seen full houses to see a terrible team play boring soccer. BMO Field, a stadium built for the team with government money has been filled in rain and sleet and cold. The only answer for this is beer. The fans are drunk and the game is actually a fun event.

TFC were visiting the Columbus Crew on March 25. The Crew are a founding member of the league. As it is the closest city in the league to Toronto, 2000 fans fuelled on beer, cheap bus tickets and love for the team followed them to Columbus. As the teams left the field after an excruciatingly dull game, a bloodbath ensued. 20 cops from Columbus were called to quell 2 reported incidents, and a guy was tasered. 20 cops for 2 incidents? It must be pretty boring in Columbus.

We are the Crew! We're fierce and ready for you. Do you want some Merlot?

From the moment the incident, sorry TWO incidents occured plenty of blame has been thrown around. The mass media is blaming alcohol. Sports talk radio idiots blame the game of soccer itself. The boredom and lack of skill displayed pushes fans to violence. Internet message boards are full of a flame war between Crew and FC fans. The truth though is that the only thing that's flaming is the Columbus Crew logo. For 12 years the Crew has used it's logo to push a violent homosexual agenda on to the unsuspecting North American public. Three guys in a hard hat with their arms crossed are a symbol of their secret hopes of using soccer to push their far left policies on to an unsuspecting and uninterested fan base.

You might think this is crazy or loony but it makes as much sense as all the other crap that has been said about this incident.


str8h8 said...

I hate on a lot of things, but that logo is hardcore that I actually can't bring myself to hate on it

Anonymous said...

What happened to you Str8h8? You got soft man, you got soft!