Monday, June 8, 2009

A Tribute To David Carradine

For people in their thirties like myself, the recent death of David Carradine has been a sobering reminder of our youth. It isn’t so much his portrayal of Kwai Chang Caine in the 70’s kung fu western TV series “Kung Fu”. Yeah he played a kung fu crime fighter in the old west. It isn’t for his portrayal of the grandson of Caine in the Canadian made “Kung Fu: The Legend Continues”. Yeah he played a crime fighting kung fu cop in an anonymous American city played by Toronto. It isn't even for his role of Bill, in the Quentin Tarantino “Kill Bill” movies.

Much like the death of Michael Hutchence 12 years ago, Carradine was considered an artistic lightweight. At first it was suspected their deaths were due to suicide. This added a depth to their lives. This depth and sorrow turned to laughs when the real cause was uncovered. Both died masturbating while hanging themselves to cut off their air supply or as autoerotic asphyxiation. Like my earlier generation, kids today will be reminded to avoid tying a rope around their necks while jerking off which is a valuable lesson if you are a complete moron. Always remember, don’t tie and hang, if you’re stroking the wang.

The worst part of this story is that Carradine popped his top while popping his top filming a movie in Thailand. This is a country that is a veritable superstore for the sexual deviant. A passport that includes a Thai stamp is a scarlet letter which can be used against you in a court of law. Would you leave a friend who traveled to Thailand alone in a room with your kids? If you answered yes to that question you should expect a visit from Children’s Aid in the very near future.

His death took me back about a decade when Carradine was in Toronto filming the aforementioned “Kung Fu: The Legend Continues”. While the show was in worldwide syndication, it was also a cheap source of Canadian programming. Almost 50, Carradine no longer had his younger agility and his every action scene had to be shown in slow motion. One night he was filming at a church close to a bar I frequented. In between takes he would duck into the bar for a drink. As it was a long night of shooting, he must have had 30 drinks while still being able to film action scenes like the one below. Who could tell the man was drunk while dodging bullets like Keanu Reeves in the Matrix. That is if Neo was 60 and a pathetic old drunk filming a cheap show in Canada.

Farewell Caine, you were a true legend.

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