Barbie Is a Ho

While the world keeps changing it is refreshing to find that certain things stay the same. The sky may be filled with smog but the sun comes up every morning. Russia may have thrown off communism but they are still our mortal enemy. Are morality may be lessening but Barbie is still a triflin' ho.

Parents are furious over the latest Barbie model available from Mattel. Known as Totally Stylin' Barbie the doll offers little girls the chance to update their favourite toy. It comes with 40 easy to apply tattoos to update her image. Unlike real tats they are easy to remove. Mattel sees this as a way to update the dolls image for today's lifestyle. How about they start by putting the "Made In Indonesia" stamp in a less conspicuous place. Sure the idea of putting a tramp stamp on the iconic doll is stupid, but I'd rather girls not have to think of the kids earning $1.50 a day making the doll and being choked by rubber fumes.

Sure this might is a terrible idea, but it keeps this doll in the news. After 50 years I think Barbie has damaged the world so much that anything they do cannot make it worse.

In a related ho story, has anyone noticed that Mel Gibson is basically dating the octomom. The resemblance is frightening.

The $500 Million Woman

That's a look that says I'm gonna cost you the other $500 million you have.


Love takes many different forms. The love between a man and a woman, a man and a sports team or a woman with a beautiful pair of earring. Philadelphia is the city of brotherly love. There's the love shared by family members, or between the Lady and the Tramp. Then there's Mel Gibson and the woman who's gonna cost him $500 million. That's gotta be love cause that's gotta hurt.

After 29 years of marriage Mel Gibson is getting divorced. Since the marriage took place in California and no pre nuptial agreement is in place, his wife is entitled to half of his money. When the news first broke any Russian with the name Oksana claimed to be his mistress. At the premiere of "Wolverine" Mel Gibson showed off his new girlfriend. This was the biggest news of the premiere as everyone saw "Wolverine" when it showed up on the net a month ago.

Her name is Oksana Grigorieva, and boy does she look like she has dollar signs in her eye with that picture. To be fair costing a man $500 million dollars must be great for a girls self esteem. This isn't convincing him to get a haircut or change his wardrobe. This is costing him the equivalent of Bolivias GDP. She is a Russian composer and actress and has a child with James Bond. Well not with a real James Bond like Daniel Craig, Sean Connery or even George Lazenby. She had a kid with Timothy Dalton.

We all know Mel Gibson is crazy, with the drunkeness and the idiotic statements he made to the cops. The piece de resistance in the whacko puzzle has to be leaving his wife for a woman who had a kid with the man who nearly killed the James Bond franchise. At least we know there's gonaa be a new Lethal Weapon movie. Somebody has got to pay for his stupidity and it's going to be moviegoers.