Protesting a Protest : Tamils in Toronto

Canada is so nice. In most parts of the world protests are tolerated and then broken up quickly. In England the police backhand woman. A recent protest by Armenians in Greece due to the Turkish refusal to accept their 1915 murders as genocide was halted by riot police. This is a stance that most Greeks support and they were shut down. In Toronto we let them tie up a major street for three days. Tamil protesters are demonstarting in front of the US Consulate. The consulate is located on University Ave, a major street in downtown Toronto which is also the location of hospitals, the opera house and City Hall.

The protests are in support for the Tamil Tigers, an organization that supports a Tamil state in Sril Lanka. They are also a terrorist organization in the eyes of Canada and the US. The demonstrators are hoping that their voice is heard and, well who the hell cares, those bastards are tieing up traffic. The police are just sitting around, watching and collecting overtime. This is the same police force that will give you a ticket for parking on this street, but wave a banner with a scary tiger and you're free to do as you choose. Would I be free to park on University if I had a Tony the Tiger flag?

Toronto is home to the largest Tamil population outside of Sri Lanka. Protesting is useless mostr of the time, but protesting in Toronto is beyond useless. No one in the world cares what happens in Toronto and certainly not what happens in front of a consulate. Canada is like the USAs stupid little brother. So protesting in front of a consulate is like asking Donald Trump's slow brother for cash. Actually it's more like asking his nurse for cash. It's a consulate,not even the embassy or Parliament. Is their aim to hold up people getting their passports renewed? I'm really surprised the Conservatives are not getting behind the Tamils. This seems to be a perfect time to pander and try to steal an ethinc group from the Liberals.

The Tamils have also broken another social contract in their use of car flags. That tiger logo flying on a car is in violations of the three reasons established in car flag etiquette.

1. Fly a flag to support your favourite sports team.
2. Fly a flag to support your ethnic background in a soccer tournament
3. Fly the Canadian flag to show you hate soccer

Supporting a liberation army is not an established legal ground in the landmark case of Racist Canadian Vs Italian Soccer Fans 1982. The case established global soccer tournaments, Stanley Cup playoff victories or any Leaf win as a cause for car flags.

Image from Torontoist.

I Want to be a Professional Protester

Image from the Economist.

I'm a bit of a rebel. The "Man" can't hold me down. When I drive I speed at 17 km/h over the limit. Slow enough not to get pulled over but fast enough to be fast. When the light turns yellow I go right through unless there are cameras. Sometimes I don't signal my lane changes and when I'm feeling particularly risky I drive while talking on my cell phone.

It was during one of these late night thrill rides that a friend informed me about the protesters at the G20 summit. I was quite frankly surprised that people would be protesting the new Infiniti or the latest drink from Gatorade. I was even more surprised to find out that the G20 was not a new product offering, but was in fact a meeting of the leaders of the 20 biggest economies of the world taking place in London. That's the London in England not in Arkansas. Yeah I had to look on Lycos for that one. He then explained that many of these protesters were professionals.

Pictured is not a meeting of world leaders. It is the INFINITI G20, a Japanese Luxury Car.

That sounds like the greatest job in the world so consider this my application. I'm looking to change jobs. Along with my dangerous driving there are many attributes which would assist in this endeavor. There is the Che Guevara T-Shirt I own like the angry guy in Rage Against The Machine. That guy is always sneering. I shake my fist like an angry old man at teenagers and have a passion for throwing rocks. While I don't have a balaclava I have always wanted to figure out what it is. For some reason I always thought it was a premium Russian vodka or a Greek pastry. Many people have told my head is the perfect shape for wearing a bandanna and like most of the protesters I'm completely ill informed and hate bathing.

How cool would it be to get arrested and get a free room at the London Jail. It's friggin expensive to stay at a hotel there and don't tell me about hostels. I saw a documentary about them once called "Hostel" and while the chicks are smoking, they're freaky.

So count me in if you're a member of a group that isn't too douchey and has a lot of hot chicks. I don't want no "Save the Whales" or "Keep the Planet Green" nonsense. They made me read Moby Dick in high school and that book was stupid. Don't call me Ishmael but call me if you're not a fruit.